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    August 11

    惭愧自己没内涵。

    一个歪念头从思维中闪过,决定不去那儿了,今天从朋友的电话中,希望我能够去帮他们冲冲茶给方丈和尚们喝。在犹豫不决和时间紧凑之下,约了时间和火车做了一个挑战。朋友专程护送到目的地,还担心如何解决我的晚餐。之前的喘气慢慢的缓和起来。哲如这个10岁的小女孩,天真活泼,我们的认识是在去年发鼓山义工营认识的。细釉的黑发,带着一副眼镜,体格瘦高,头脑精灵,没想到记忆力还记得我的存在。是的,她记住我了。用完晚餐,她带着我上到二楼的图书馆,里面有一间隔开的小房间,朋友很早就把茶具准备的桌上。
    我开始从盒子里取出的一包老茶,法师们一一顺道而来。其实有点不好意思,很久没冲茶了,难免手脚有点不听使唤。这就是所谓的不专业。每一样东西都是平常修炼所累积的,可能他们看不出,但是我心里知道。“哇,很好喝”谢谢你们,给我一个鼓励。
    方丈进来了,初次见面,以外表判断,心里想“也许我与他无缘吧?!”这是心理作用。他的讲座会即将开始,我想离开这里,不知道为何?后来还是被朋友三邀四请的,进去了。
    方丈一坐下来的时候,很快的把大家的心拉进了他的世界。还以为自己会睡着呢,结果听完后,很感动!
     
    生命中,也许一直认为和别人的经历是别人难以想象的,后来以坚强的意志力一一去完成生命中从来没有想燃烧过的梦想。也许时间的磨炼使自己肯定了自己,别人怎么认为都无所谓,自我的浅意识中慢慢封锁起来,和在意别人的批评。生命是需要滋润和培养的,也许我太在乎了。佛羅里达大学的心理学家贝瑞.舒兰克说:[完全没有必要去追究一个人的所作所为是否别有用心。]这句话很哲学,深奥。
    感觉自己很肤浅,也没内涵。以外表和感官来认定他人的一个判断。
     
    方丈和尚叙述了圣严法师圆寂前的一个报告。
    故事内容只有在座谈会上才可以感受到的,也可以说文笔不好,不敢多写。
     
     
     
     

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